The Fair Slice Act
Ordering a pizza from the couch should be the peak of leisure, but figuring out which option is better, e.g., two medium or one large, takes far too much effort, especially if you don't feel like doing the geometry the menu hopes you forgot. And overpaying leaves less money for other things like a bathrobe or slippers. The Party is therefore pleased to introduce its official pizza calculator, so you can make the optimal decision without leaving the sofa.
Whereas
Pizza is sold by the inch across but eaten by the square inch. A 16″ pizza isn't 33% bigger than a 12″. It's 78% bigger. The menu will not be mentioning this.
Why: a pizza's area is π (pie!) r squared, or pi times the radius times itself. Because the radius gets multiplied by itself, a little more width adds a lot more pizza.
12″: π × 6 × 6 ≈ 113 sq in
16″: π × 8 × 8 ≈ 201 sq in
- Enter both deals exactly as the menu states them.
- Confirm the toppings match. We compare pizza to pizza, not pepperoni to plain cheese.
- Read the ruling. Show it to whoever is holding the phone.
How should crust be counted?
Crust is a fixed-width ring, so it eats a bigger share of a small pizza. Crust widths follow industry pizza-grading standards.
Note: Because crust is a fixed-width ring, the smaller the pizza, the bigger the share of it that's crust. With a 1″ crust, a 10″ pizza is about 36% crust; an 18″ is about 21%. Bigger pizzas still have more crust in total (it's a longer edge), but far more topping. Crust lovers: order small. Topping people: order big.
Still upset about sandwich prices? The Party has a cap about that.